


Blood Made Beautiful

by GraceNM



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Boston, Buffyverse Femslash Week 2018, College Dawn, Episode: s03e10 Amends, F/F, Forget About the Comics, Post-Episode: s07e22 Chosen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-13 12:43:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14749088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraceNM/pseuds/GraceNM
Summary: Set post-Chosen. Dawn is in college when Faith decides to come back to Boston. They're not going to be friends.





	Blood Made Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Buffyverse Femslash Week 2018. Special thanks to Mylie for her excellent suggestions!

Dawn Summers is not Faith's biggest fan.

Sure, she helped save the world and all, but who hasn't? A few years in jail doesn't seem to be enough to make up for all she did, all the people she hurt. But then, Willow didn't have to go to jail at all, so it's not like there's a standard for these things.

Once they walk away from the smoking crater that used to be Sunnydale and climb back on board the bus to who-knows-where, the rest of them seem to just...move on. Dawn knows that they've all done bad things, even she's done some pretty bad things, but Faith's crimes are vivid, splashed blood-red in her brain, and she can't let it go.

Of all of them, Dawn is probably the one that Faith hurt the least, but that's exactly why she cares the most. Do what you will to me, Dawn thinks, but leave the people I love alone. Which is maybe just a more mature way of saying _You hurt my mommy_. When the fate of the world is on the line, she can accept Faith, fight by her side, but they're not going to be friends.

As time goes on, even Buffy seems to get on board the Faith train. Dawn's in college now, trying to sort out a world away from vampires, demons and the forces of darkness (except they're always around, aren't they, and she doesn't tell Buffy that she's sorta kinda helping a baby slayer she ran into on campus one night).

When they talk on the phone, Buffy's always mentioning something Faith said or something Faith likes, while Dawn scrunches her nose and tries to change the subject.

 

* * *

 

Apparently, the secret to getting into a good college is this: score well on standardized tests, teach yourself a few dead languages, and arrange to have the only home you've ever truly known collapse into a giant hole in the ground. Admissions officers are suckers for that stuff.

She's supposed to be living a "normal" life, but no one bothered to tell her how that works exactly. Buffy would hate to know that what she likes best about college are the nights she sneaks out of her dorm room to check on Althea. Sometimes she talks to her; mostly she doesn't. Dawn reveals as little about herself as possible. She focuses on the best way to kill a polgara demon, or how to use holy water on a vamp in a pinch.

"I knew a slayer once," she says when Althea asks how she knows so much.

Dawn thinks that to Althea, she must seem a little like Angel did to Buffy in those early days in Sunnydale — cocky, cryptic, all-knowing. Not that she's going to be climbing into Althea's bedroom window any time soon. But she does start wearing a lot of black.

It only lasts a few weeks and then Althea kisses her one night behind a mausoleum. The kiss is warm and deep and not even a little bit strange. Instead of kissing her again, like she wants to, Dawn tells Althea the truth about Buffy, about Sunnydale, and she's not surprised when Althea decides to leave school and get real training at the Slayer HQ.

They all choose Buffy over her. She knows it's not like that, not really, but she can't help thinking it all the same.

After Althea leaves, she keeps going out at night on her own.

 

* * *

 

In her sophomore year, she wins a departmental award. She's advanced very quickly in Akkadian and Sumerian surrounded by so much expertise. She's outstripped the course offerings and is working on an independent study with her favorite professor. She's progressing in Turkish, too, and her Arabic is coming along nicely.

She very casually mentions the award to Buffy on the phone and her sister instantly starts planning a trip to Boston.

"Bring Xander," Dawn tells her, and for once she's glad that Spike is a vampire because he can't fly commercial. Spike's another person who is not really her friend. Not anymore.

They're late getting there, of course — Buffy probably had to slay something on the way from the airport — so Dawn is already accepting her little plaque when she spots them in the back of the room, Buffy clapping like a maniac and Xander beaming.

She swells a bit, thinking of that summer when the two of them took care of her — some of the happiest memories she has that weren't invented by a bunch of old dudes in brown robes. It's not until she is walking back to her seat, smiling at them, that she notices a smirking Faith at Xander's side.

 

* * *

 

"Someone got a little homesick," Buffy explains once they've all hugged and are standing together in a little clump.

"Didn't you have problems in customs? You know, as a wanted fugitive and all," Dawn says, too loudly on purpose.

Faith isn't fazed. "All taken care of, short round."

Dawn looks down at her, eyebrows raised.

"Faith's going to stick around," Buffy says. "Althea wants to stay in London, and Boston hasn't had a slayer for a while now."

"That's great," Dawn says with a plastic smile. She tries not to think about Althea.

 

* * *

 

Dawn doesn't change her habits, so it's inevitable that they run into each other one night. It's actually pretty rare to see vampires near campus, but she knows Faith will patrol there anyway, to keep an eye out for Buffy's little sis.

And Faith always brings her own fun, so of course on the night in question, she's fighting three vamps at once. Dawn has only dusted a few on her own, but she manages to take one out while Faith finishes off the other two.

"Well, look at you," Faith says appreciatively once the fight is over. Dawn's blushing under the heat of Faith's gaze but she doesn't look away. "You do this often?"

"Not really," Dawn says. "I should get back to the dorm."

She starts walking and Faith tags along, not letting her get away so easily. She knows Faith won't give her shit for putting herself in danger, though. So there's at least one thing Dawn likes about her.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Dawn asks finally.

"I don't know. Needed a change of pace, I guess. What's it to you?"

The tone of her voice makes Dawn bite her lip. They walk in silence again.

"So…you grew up here?" Dawn tries again lamely.

"Not anywhere near here," Faith laughs, looking around at the ivy-covered walls. "But yeah, you could say that."

"Do you still have family in town?" Dawn's not sure why she's asking. Whatever, she's just being polite.

Faith doesn't look her way. "I…I thought my dad might be here. But no dice."

Dawn gets the feeling that Faith has come back to face her demons, to bury them, and Dawn wants to remind her that you can bury an entire town worth of demons and it won't change a thing.

She pulls out her key card and leans against the brick entranceway to her dorm. "I'm sorry."

"Don't sweat it, rug rat. Be seeing you."

And she's gone.

 

* * *

 

They run into each other again. Of course they do. It gets to be a routine. Dawn happens to go out — not to patrol exactly, she doesn't like to think of it that way, Buffy would freak — to "keep an eye on things" on the same nights that Faith happens to be in the neighborhood.

Dawn still doesn't know why she does it. They're not going to be friends. But no one else in this town could ever understand what compels her to leave the cozy warmth of her bed to see what goes bump in the night.

They don't see much action — it really is quiet around campus — so they mostly walk. Sometimes, they talk. About Buffy and Willow and Xander. Giles. They trade big demon stories. Nothing too serious. They're not friends.

One night the subject of back-from-the-dead Spike comes up, and Faith's whole demeanor changes.

"I don't mind the guy," she says, "but Buffy—"

"Buffy what?"

"Never mind. It's stupid."

"She talks about him a lot," Dawn says. "On the phone."

"Yeah. They had a lot of catching up to do."

And Dawn understands why Faith is back in Boston. At least partly.

"Hey. I know what it's like," Dawn says, reaching over to touch Faith's arm. She gets it, how it feels to want Buffy's attention, to love her so much and to hate her sometimes, too.

It's strange to try to comfort Faith. Faith has always seen her as the baby, the brat. Maybe she was jealous of Dawn, with her mommy and her coddling. Dawn is jealous of that Dawn, too. The one that doesn't exist anymore. The one that never existed, really.

They touch each other more after that. Just casual — a punch on the arm, a shoulder squeeze, hands brushing against each other. Faith stops coming up with new synonyms for "kid" and starts using her name.

Little things. But they feel big.

 

* * *

 

One night they run into a demon in the cemetery. A huge, hairy thing that Dawn recognizes from one of Giles' dusty books. A sangfroidian demon, maybe? Faith is in trouble, struggling hard, and Dawn tries to recall what she saw on the page.

"Faith!" she yells. "Aim for the feet!"

Faith dives and slices into the demon with her knife. It's not long before she's standing, brushing herself off, and smiling triumphantly at Dawn.

"That was unreal," Faith says. "I could just kiss you right now."

And she does.

This time, it _is_ weird, because it's Faith, but it's good, too, really good, and Dawn feels something inside her twist and unlock.

And apparently Dawn gets confessional when girls kiss her, because she blurts, "I'm not real," and Faith looks at her quizzically. Then the whole story comes tumbling out, about the Key and the monks and Glory, and it's clear Faith has heard absolutely none of this before because she is panicking.

"None of it happened?" she says accusingly. "It's all made up?"

"No, no, it's not made up. It's just—it's different. They changed things to fit me in."

"So maybe I wasn't bad. Maybe they just made me bad in the memories so that you could have, like, a stronger bond with Buffy or something. So she would love you more, protect you."

"I don't think that's how it works."

"But you don't know. Do you?"

"Faith—"

"You know what? I'm outta here."

And this is what it's always like. You start to care about someone, and they leave.

 

* * *

 

Dawn remembers snow.

They pulled open the front door and the air that rushed in was freezing and she laughed. A real white Christmas like they had in stories and songs but not in Sunnydale.

She and Faith had run around the yard, coatless, flinging snow at each other with their bare hands. Faith was pink-cheeked and her dark hair was dotted with stars, and Dawn had never seen anything so beautiful.

 

* * *

 

It's a week before Faith turns up again, but she does.

"Sorry for the power freak," she says, a little shyly.

"No, I get it," Dawn says. "When I found out, I cut myself open. It's a head trip. I shouldn't have told you like that."

"I thought...maybe if it was the monks, then I could just…say it never happened. That I could be free of it. But then I got to thinking…You weren't even there for most of the things I did. Wouldn't have to change much." Faith smiles ruefully. "My time is never up."

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t owe me any apologies. You’ve been dealing with some really messed-up stuff, and I didn’t make it better,” Faith says. “But this...it doesn’t change how I...”

Dawn can’t get any words out, but she puts her arms around Faith and rests her cheek against Faith's hair. They stay like that for a long time, just breathing.

 

* * *

 

Dawn knows this might not be real. They're both kinda lost and lonely. But Faith's kisses taste as clear and pure as raindrops and Dawn doesn't want to think too deeply just now.

Maybe it isn't real, but then so little of her life is. For so long, she remembered hating Faith. But hate wasn't all she was given. And maybe, just for now, she can remember loving Faith instead.


End file.
